I have a poetry portfolio assignment due in two days, would you guys please help me comment on my poem? Its titled, "that vase".
In that vase I recorded a memory,
In that vase, she plucked petals day by day.
My mother had left me, now it’s starting to hurt
She told me “I really love you, please stay”.
Alone with him, my father, he made me into a spectator
You never seemed to care for me, only caring for her
Written all over his face, I witnessed Words and phrases
Of violence and hatred, oh father, my father
Day and Night both of you were gone,
Out in the city street lights, the vodka and wine
Enjoying, intoxicated both of you were.
You left me alone doubting my mother, my father.
Your day had come, so did a bouquet
To wish you, “Oh happy mothers day”
Those red roses filled the vase, only colour.
Their meaning had perished, so did your love for me.
In that vase I recorded a memory,
In that vase you plucked my feelings, my trust, day by day.
My parents had left me, now it’s burning red
They told me “We are sorry, it’ll be okay”.
One more thing, the form of Ballad is correctly used right??
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